Much misses.

R.I.P Jimmy Sullivan aka The Rev

(1981-2009)

Love.

Stay brutal.

-Jess

Your body might been gone but your soul still lives.

You think you know me...but you don't

Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter

or cynical about love, but rather makes me realize that

if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person,

how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.

-Jess

So close.

kills me to just breathe you in.

dying inside.

numb me pls.

-Jess

Almost had you

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

-Fine frenzy

Jess

Hey you, look at how high you flew.

Too many things to finish.

Too many deadlines.

A new born.

This harsh world.

Oh, pls god, bless this fragile soul.

Fly baby fly.

With much love,

Jess

The Last Goodnight-Pictures of You

This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child,
Before he starts to crawl
This is the war that's never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone,
Praying for her son

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab,
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry

Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing


-Jess

"love" is your favorite word.

misery you're always coming over me,
and jealousy do what you will, do what you will

just do.

and... stand on the edge with me,
hold back your fear and see,
everything seem alot clearer...
nothing is real till it's gone.

Let your heart defy logic.

Heart shall beat for me and your blood shall run colder.

-Jess

Burning cigarette...

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

...
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
...
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

-Whiskey Lullaby
Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss


Like what people always say...
It takes so much courage to love a person wholeheartedly
but just one simple moment of folly to make it all go to the drains.

Can one ever forget hurtful things people do to each other ?

Autumn days will fade away but memories will always stay...

Still unhealed.when will it be the day I'm free with all these thoughts and get that someone that I yearn for.
-Jess

Fancy?

A goodnight sleep on a nice roof top? :) Right J???? K LETS GO.

There are things in life that never last. But the truth is, you never lose them until you let them go. Life is about choices: hanging on, holding back, letting go. Some things do last if you just let them, and if they let you.

-Jess

10 goals for the moment.

Yes J, so far so good. :)

Here's mine.

1) Finish reading-Dont let me go by David W.Pierce.
2) Finish reading-My sister's keeper by Jodi Picoult.
3) Finish reading the last few chapters of-Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer ( yes I know, I'm taking too long...I'm really lazy lately.)
4) Start reading-Time Traveler's wife by Audrey Niffenegger
5) Buy the book-Secret to Teen Power by Paul Harrington
6) Good meal with J
7) Nice chill out session with Prabs and Abbs before all our lives get hectic.( before Prabs become Botak Man)
8) Chill out session with J
9) Dinner with Omar and J
10) Stop thinking of things that makes me feel unworthy.

-Jess

ps: these goals are not in particular order.

Love after love.

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

-DerekWalcott

What will you do if you can't even promise your other half that you will be there for your own wedding?

I'm back.

This trip was worth it.
Made new friends.
Shared new/old thoughts.
Know people better.

It sucks that all good things will always come to an end.

Where's the starting & ending point?

Road trip soon.

I need it.

Feel terribly desperately in need of getaways.

After graduation probably.

And suddenly I become a part of your past. I'm becoming the part that don't last. I'm losing you and its effortless.


-Jess

& I'm leaving.

to Korea.

be back soon.

Love all.

-Jess

Growth and courage

Some quotes to live by...

After all these months, all this time, so much has happened. The talks, the phone calls, the laughs and the feelings. If I were to look back on them, I would never have believed that, that person was once me. I wouldn't recognize that girl because she's so different from me. But I guess changing and moving on is growing up, I'm growing up and finding out what kind of person I want to be for the rest of my life. And maybe in the future, there are more changes to come, but as for right now, this is who I'm proud to be.

This weather reflects my face
Rainy day.
This place hurts my eyes.
I think I could break down and cry.
I enter each day with a sigh.
Its so hard to wake when there's nothing at stake
Today I think I'm gonna break,
the hours drag on for what seems like days.
Another day has slipped right by
And I've done nothing.

KOREA PLS.

Yes, in less than a month's time....I will be in Korea!!!

Hot tea, chilly weather and much much more thoughts.

Hope it will be a blast!


-Jess

This routine.

I'm sick of the scene.

It's suffocating.

All these daily routines.

Set me free.

please.. ... .........

-Jess

A getaway please?

Love is...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Growing up and out.

When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

-1 Corinthians 13:11

And now

I know why.

I'm tired & I can't be bothered anymore.

I can't feel.

Just let it be.


Things shall fall into place!

I hope it will...

Trying?

What's the point of trying? trying to let them open up to you, to know them better.

In the end, FRIENDS just don't bother about how you feel at all. They don't even care!

SO, just forget about trying to be.

Let it be.

Let them be.

-Jess

what am I?

I have no feeling.
I'm not sad.
I'm not happy.
I'm not anything.

When love has no limits.

"A circle is round it has no end, that's how long I want to be your friend!"

Congrates to Elaine and Anton.
You both taught me life lessons from what you guys are doing and already did.
which is to, seize the moment, be spontaneous and travel whenever we could with someone close.

I shall go on road trip soon!
and....

I'll miss you guys although we din't make too much of memories together.
But yes...I'm getting emotional because you guys are leaving singapore.
and I won't be seeing you guys any soon and anyways......
I LOVE YOU BOTH.

This blog might be on indefinitely hiatus.

Jess

I need alittle more luck

to get me back this time...everytime I try...i get tongue tied.

It's sad when people you know become people you knew; when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life, how you use to be able to talk for hours and how now you can barely even look at them. It's sad how times can change.


What ever happened to ME?!

I'm seriously need to get UNstucked!
I feel too much of this unnecessary emotions everyday.

This post is so fucked! and messed up!

Drunken minds speak sober hearts- I think its so true.

AH. FUCK ME. PERIOD.


Jess

Star in your life?

Wishing on a dream that seems far off
Hoping it will come today
Into the starlit night
Foolish dreamers turn their gaze
Waiting on a shootin star
But

What if that star is not to come
Will their dreams fade to nothing?
When the horizon darkens most
We all need to believe there is hope

Is an angel watching closely over me?
Can there be a guiding light i've yet to see?
I know my heart should guide me but
Theres a hole within my soul
What will fill this emptiness inside of me

Am I to be satisfied without knowing
I wish then for a chance to see
Now all I need,
Is my star to come...

-Wind Nocturne by Lunar Silver Star

Has ur star arrived and entered ur life already?

mine hadn't, cuz there's still a hole in my soul.

-Jess

:(

I'm losingmyselfalready.

and I turned into the monster I didn't wanted to be.

Spouting loads of nonsense just because I'm mad and angry at myself.
to even start thinking of stupid incidents and talkin to that same old person.
I shld really kill myself really.

What do I really want from him/her?

I think I just want an answer.

but no.

I'm just empty inside.

sayitisntso.

-Jess

Unreal

I can't believe I didn't actually "relax" myself for my taiwan trip.
Food was alright...but I found it a tad bit too rush.
But I like those seas I visited...it was cold, yet very nice comfy in a way.
It was like the sea was there to listen to my thought and comfort me with its sound of the waves.

I'm really still rather upset with things that I found out and CONFIRMED.
But I hope buddha give me strength to lead me through this stage.
I don't wanna drop those tears whenever I think of that incident.
I wanna to be able to laugh it off mentally and emotionally.

I wanna be real.

God, lead me through this w/o all these hurt.
Bring me someone that show me rainbows instead of blood and skulls.
(just a description)

Bring me someone...real.


Jess

Morning breeze

never felt so cold, yet....warm.

I never felt so awake in the mental sense.

I was looking of the window, the slight mist, the sounds of moving vehicles...this is exactly the moment I want in life.
This slight reflection we all hang on to.

I woke at 6.15 am to be exact...talking to my mom and sis.
Enjoying a good bowl of blueberry nut crunch with milk, yum.
Getting alittle excited about the Taiwan trip tomorrow.

At least this time round, I'm going with madam butterfly and my mom.
Although some of the others I might not know but it will definitely be a blast filled day.

Aight enough of random thoughts.

I don't know what it is, I just cry sometimes.
Maybe I'm just so oblivious to the things going on around me,
that I don't realize that I'm hurting as much as I am,
so when the tears stream down my face &
I don't have anything to say don't ask me why I'm crying,
because I simply don't know,

just hold me,


I just want to be held.

-Jess

Getaway.

hmmm....a getaway from Singapore soon.

to taiwan for a week

Wish I could use this time to set my priorities right.
Take this time to really relax....

:)

Jess

Thoughts.

Can I keep you?
-Casper

Remember me this way.
Fantasy is always better not turned into reality.
Becuz...it's not always not for the better.
It's always for the worst.

Jess

Lessons in life

I saw some teens from a event I volunteered for.
They are younger and come from a girls' home.

But they are not any different from the rest of us.
But why are we giving them weird looks or judgement?
Who are we to judge who they were/are?

It doesn't really matter or did it really matter?

Enjoy the time on earth.

Make more friends and less enemies.
Judging can only lead to misunderstandings.
Cut it down and make this world a much better place.

peace.
Jess

Kiss the rain

Was listening to a piano piece

and was discussing with buanana
Ever heard of anyone kissing the rain?

Hell, is rain even kissable?

rain drops are like so fragile,
the moment it touches anything..it fades off &
after sometime it evaporates.

like broken piece of small glass, not significant but hurts when probe?

I only tasted rain before, definitely not of the best taste.

Why do people only learn to treasure beautiful things around them when it is gone.
Why cry or get upset over it?
Is it so hard to seize the moment and never let go of what's true to our soul?

Try dancing and "make love" with the rain someday.

I will try it soon.

Like they say, find joy in things ard us.
Defo makes us happier!

Cheers

Jess

HAHA. FUNNY SHITS.

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Regret-Art school

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Hey its your funeral mama"-Alexisonfire

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Call it weird or call it salsa"-Scenes and sirens

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Cold december-Aiden

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
One trillion dollars-Anti-flag

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Tony Danza Dancetravaganza-Shitt hottt


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Happiness by the kilowatts-Alexisonfire


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Narc-Interpol

WHAT IS 2+2?
Morning in the moonlight-Saves the day

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Himerus and eros-The Spill Canvas

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My curse-Killswitch Engage

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Drown the city-Skylit Drive

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The beach-All Time Low

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Never change-Chase Coy

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Layered up- New Atlantic

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Call of the wild- The Grates

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Artist-The Hush Sound

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Say Goodnight-Bullet For My Valentine

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Pictures of you-The Last Goodnight

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Songs that saved my life-Kill Hannah

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Les Os-The Unicorns

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Vegas-All Time Low

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Something beautiful-Cauterize

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Bat country-Avenged Sevenfold

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
When you're scared of dogs-The Grates

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Liar Liar(burn in hell)-The Used

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Goodnight goodnight-Hot Hot Heat

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Pussy Whipped-The Undressed

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Break it out-Vanilla Sky

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Crimewave-Crystal Castles

We are just drifting in deep waters.

I had a blast during the weekends.
I enjoyed myself since many years.
Truly came from inside of me.
I made new friends I never knew I would.
All these humorous and so hyped up new friends.

Saw cute faces, I wish I was more vocal.
I wish was more "thick-skinned" like my buddy, buanana.

NVM.

Last 2 days, I'm gonna make a difference to my life.

watch..........out.


HA.

-Jess


cute kids. freckled faces. long hair. blue eyes.captivating smiles. happiness. loveliness.

Morning breeze never felt so good in my life!

I'm loving it!


-Jess

Drained

I'm tired.

Sick, sick and ill.

I wanna fucking blow my nose but I can't cuz it hurts.



Nabeh.

Tarts by Barreh
put me on the flow.
give me some water and dessert.
CLASSIC.

HA.

-Jess

Phases.

There comes a point in my life,

when I'm officially an adult.

Suddenly, I'm old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities.

Suddenly, people expect me to be responsible, serious, a grown-up.

We get taller, we get older. But do we ever really grow up?

-Jess