Its 2009 bitches!

Have a good year ahead.
with your love ones esp.

:)

-Jess

FUCK

FUCK EVERYTHING I STOOD FOR.

FUCK CONCERNS.

FUCK EMOTIONS.

FUCK EVERTHING.

kthxbye.

The wait

He's always been alone
He's waited a century for you.
We don't want to see the disappointment in his eyes if you ever die...
Now he's found you...

and so...
the lion fell in love with the lamb.
what a stupid lamb.
what a sad, masochistic lion.

beautiful....really, dreamily beautiful.

wonderfully beautiful. love story.

I will wait for you. it's always the waiting part.


-Jess

Missing

I've been missing for a while.
Struggling to live everyday, making my days sound better than a broken glass.

I miss you.
I miss us.
I miss the regular "conversations"
We don't even talk anymore.
Let alone when I wanna talk to you,
You are always away.
Just when we talked
I tried to sound cheerful
Because
I really want you to miss me like I miss you,
But you've got her
&
You seem pretty content without me.


So goodbye to you.

Whoever out there, unworthy of my love.

-Jess

p.s: watch out for the next post.

Butterflies in my heart.

Ever see someone or look at someone or stare at someone...or something...and feel something in your heart?

If you never did, that means congrates you have got to the nirvana level of inhumanity.

How did those butterflies in ur heart felt like?

Heartaching?

Heartwrenching?

Happiness?

Bliss?

What are butterflies in heart?

Is it bad or is it good?

The butterflies in my heart are not good at all yet...

Oh well, how have you guys been coping with affairs of the fragile heart?

I have been coping well, holding my head up high...don't know when will I ever fall again.

Fingers cross.

I hope I won't.


All the days spent together
I wish for better,
And I didn’t want the train to come
Now it’s departed, I’m broken hearted
Seems like we never started

All those days spent together
When I wished for better
And I didn’t want the train to come.
No, no.You think you’re loving
But you don’t love me

I want to be free, baby
You’ve hurt me
You don’t love me
I want to be free
Baby you’ve hurt me
-Warwick Ave by Duffy

-Jess
xx

Shifted back

I realise I still have feelings for this blog...the tag board and all.

I'm continuing to blog here and I shall keep my livejournal for private entries.

HI ALL.

I'M BACK.

BROOOTOLLLL.

HA.

-Jess

shifted.

http://jess-chase89.livejournal.com/

:)

Why?

Why?


ask yourself why? today.


Why buanana refuses to talk to me today? Do I suck that much, she seems unhappy?
:(

Cheer up, my friend.

much love,
Jess

Pain

my pain you'll never know.

my feelings ill never show.

the past remains a mystery mist

&

yet you think you know.

Sometimes I hope you fucking die.

But I know it wld fucking go

this thought wldn't fucking last.

Just to let you know.

I let you go and I move on.

So we should just not talk.

and

carry on.

much love.

Jess

Most times I feel that I'm a failure in everyways.

Never really was what "friends" wanted me to be.

Never do well in studies. love..

all the never-s.

sigh.

love is like dominos,

one wrong move and all you worked for falls apart

baby

if you could read my mind, you'd be in tears.

to end this post off,

I'm looking things right now at a different light.

Nothing ever matters now.

Having time off from all "drama" now.




Much much love.

Jess

p.s Lets get fucked up. Give us the alcohol.

Madness.

I went on a Boys Like Girls Mania on Monday.

Oh yes, it felt good to go wild and scream for just that moment.

Oh gudddd, I didnt get to hug Bryan and take a pic and give him cookies.

He looks way awesome.

and Martin looks so charming.

These big boys just grow alot better and Yes Paul is in the picture with ME.

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Life rocks with random happenings.

I'm loving it baby.

Jess

Love is watching someone die.

What he said, she said, might kill you and leave you dying inside.
But its a matter of choice, ain't it?
Never let your heart take over your mind, it's not fucking recommended.

Much love,
Jess

Stab stab stab.

Ever wonder how many people befriended you in the past how many years of your life?
Those whom you thought would last a lifetime but never did last?

Nono, I don't mean friends.
Friends don't exactly just find you when bored, lonely or hurt by anyone.

Those are whom I call talk and fuck off now partner.
I don't need you when you're not needed.
Sounds logical eh?
Sounds like I'm being cynical eh?
Word.

I have been pretty disturb by surroundings recently.
I don't mean environment.
I mean "partners" , people whom you guys called"GOOD FRIENDS"

Seriously this time round I couldn't be fucking bothered.
Holidays are in and I'm gonna enjoy myself.

To me, if I really reached my tolerance to a person.
I'm gonna fucking missing in action.
I don't like confrontations.
Or maybe you guys can just describe me as coward and someone who doesn't treasure "human relationships"
But no, I have my reasons, I have been through this nonsense with that person before and
I just realise that no matter how hard I want to make "friendship" work, it never happens.
Not just to the certain person but people around me.

I find myself constantly trying.
I always thought that friendship never did have to TRY to make it work.
Ain't it a little too taxing when everything I do just doesn't show or ain't appreciated?

People who try to be nice to people whom he/she hates?
Say nice little things which he/she might not mean it at all.

Hypocrites,everyone is guilty of it.

even me.

So I'm cutting myself from this league.
I don't need friends whom thinks they can put people down just because they're normal.
Once or twice a joke is ok, but not putting people down and SERIOUSLY ruining them is not fun at all.


I need to repent from these sins.

maybe I'm PARANOID eh. haha. (pun intended)

Fuck, I'm going M.I.A for reals now.





P.s
Buanana, I didn't know you would actually blog about me.
I know its the most sincere post man.
Luv you childhood bud.
Remember, "home" is where we belong!

Pps

Prabs, good luck on your performance.
Fuck care those who tries to bring it down.
You know indians are always the most hardworking bunch.
HAHAH.
GRREEAATTTT COMMITMENT DEPICTS GGREATTT WORK
Humble, my son HUMBLE.
Dedededeeeeeee.

:D

Jess AKA Red apple

I know

I guess I know what it feels like to be just really down and out at the moment I woke up with my eyes staring at the white ceiling thinking of how my day would go, knowing its gonna be bad because shit happened.


I just hope one day someone could just be by my side and I would just know its okay to feel this way and he will be there to bring me through tough times and be it happy times too.

I would wanna share my everything irregardless of happiness or sorrows.
Little hugs and kisses, making life good for both of us.
Knowing that little things wont't bring us down.

Just the two of us.


I'm gonna be the one he chooses to listen to, not because I'm his true one but more of because I'm right. He will choose to listen to my words rather than people who is trying to bring him down.


He's gonna be my best and last till we part to the other dimension.

Hand in hand we are gonna work our way through life.


Loving him with all my heart.

Loving me with all his soul.


Baby, we'll take this ride and enjoy each other's company.

Make this work.


Making it work.



P.S: Love you whoever you are out there.
xoxo.

Sincerely,
Me.

You

There's always something in the way.
There's always something getting thru.

I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me, Me,
In You
In You

You-Switchfoot

-Jess

Strawberry fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed,
misunderstanding all you see.
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.
It doesn't matter much to me.







Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about


-Strawberry fields forever,The Beatles.

Jess

Human?

Friends around mealways tell me

" its always human to feel this way or that way."

But what exactly is "human"?

What goes on in the minds of the different souls that wonder how life could go?
How life could be when the chance was taken away from someone who never had live the "HUMAN" life?


Ponder.

Jess

Happy?

People ask me what I want to be in future.
I told them I want to be happy.
They told me I got the question wrong.
But I told them they don't understand LIFE.


Live life.
Don't let your life live you.


Jesss

Let me have a walk to remember.

Love is patient and kind.
It is never jealous, boastful or conceited, never rude or selfish,
it does not take offence and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins.
Love delights in the truth, is always ready to excuse,
trust and hope and to endure whatever comes.

Let go and soon I'll realise I can
FLY.
let go of the load in my heart, just let it go.


Jess

amor vincit omnia

There are some memories that we
will carry with us for the rest of our lives & some things that we choose to forget

The memories we made. But memories are memories, there is nothing I can do to bring it back to live...all we have are shadows of past and nothing else.I move on. although....unwillingly. I hope for the best for myself. Life is just that unfair. Shit happens and I have to bear it all and go on...

it's like you wanted to see,
how badly you could hurt me,
and how many times i could cry,
before i really got mad.

but NO I'm not gonna be what you are tryin to make me to be.

I just realized, i'm not the weak one.
you are, i was willing to work and go through hurt,
but you werent, no you gave up.

amor vincit omnia= untrue
Love conquers all?

I don't think I have that phrase quite right.
Or maybe I don't understand or been thru it.

For now, I think it will never happen.
Love will break hearts and no matter how much they say it shouldn't hurt.
It's not working for us yet at all.
We haven't come to the point when
love=love,
now
love= responsibilities, breakups,bleahs (*&^%$&*(

and once you find happiness in this cruel world
there is always someone trying to take it away.

For now,I tired of nonsense and irresponsibility of human beings.
For once, I tell you readers to remember something I find meaningful.

take note:

remember that everyone you meet
is afraid of something, loves something,
and has lost something.

Drunken minds speak sober hearts.

let go when you're hurting too much,
give up when love isn't enough,
and
move on when things are not like before.
for surely there is someone out there
who will love you even more. :)

I know there will be people out there who are devastated because of a lost love.

here goes some stuffs I went thru and read before...

I've changed so much lately.
every single day i wake up different.
i feel like i'm fading every step.
all everyone else sees are smiles.
they say i'm doing much better.
i know i'm doing much WORSE.

because you're young, you're torn
between a world of hate and a
world of dreams.
So much to lose,
so much to gain,
so much to fight for,
so much to change.

people say hate is a strong word
but so is love,
and people throw it around
like it means nothing at all.


And you're afraid to show a smile
cause' you don't want people
to overlook the hurt you have in your heart.
And you are so scared that they will start to believe
that the pain you feel isn't real.
But believe me girl, no one ever cares what you feel inside its all a superficial world.
For those who care, it's mere 1 in a million.

So tonight i'm thrown back into
those memories, face to face with my
past, hoping for some sort of closure,
that will let me leave all this behind.

At some point you have to realise
that he doesn’t care;

and you could be missing out

on someone that does

And all through life
There are going to be those times
When you really want to help someone
But no matter how hard you try to make them smile
You won't be able to.
You can't always fix everything.
You can't always help everyone.
Some people need to learn to live for themselves.
You can't live for them.

And I finally found that life goes on without you,
And the world still turns when you're not around.


maybe I'm thinking alil too much here but

the way i see it, yeah i know i'm not over him. but i know
i will never be over him throughout my entire life. so i just
look at it like this. he will always have a big piece of my heart,
always. but i just need to accept the fact that it's okay. i can
still feel things for other people, & hopefully i'll learn to just be
able to give the rest of my heart to someone else. but until
then, i'll just end up having fun in life.

&
hopefully i'll met the right person to get me completely over him

Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax and chill, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life...
You guys have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you guys will someday...someday.

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, But with what it is still possible for you to do."
++Pope John XXIII

just think.
there's someone out there
dying to get you to notice.
just think.
someone's laying up
staring at their ceiling
thinking only of your smile.





-Jess

Cat and Mouse

ohohohoh.

Miracles of all miracles.

I'm here to update about something I have been thinking about for sometime.

Cat and Mouse story.


Have u guys ever wondered, why do cats always hunt for mouse?

Tom will always go after Jerry?

I always have this mindset that everyone including animals, creatures humans blah blah blah are born to be friends but revolution changes it all.

Cat and mouse turn from lovers to enemies just like they always say love and hate has only just a thin line of differences.


Cat and mouse are suppose to be together but mouse betrayed it to join the zodiac and in the end cat has to always be the one chasing after it for a reason, to just give up and leave. Mouse never gave Cat a reason why he/she have to leave and it will take forever to ever know the reason.
Cat will never give up....


Most readers will think this as crap post.
But it really got me thinking.
How many couples in this world parted because of weird reasons or unknown reasons?
How many bothered to find out the truth behind reasons....

these are the questions that will always be ard....

Now here's a song....Nice one....GOSHHHHHHHHH.



Cat and mouse by RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS

Softly we tremble tonight,
Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight,
I said I'd never leave you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

We made plans to grow old,
Believe me there was truth in all those stories that I told.
Lost in a simple game cat and mouse are we the same people as before this came to light?

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
You said, you said that you would die for me...

You must live for me too'...
For me too...yeah, yeah...
You said that you would die for me...

Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.
Am I supposed to be happy?
With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price
You said, you said that you would die for me...


You said....u will die for meeee.....
Nice song:(



Jesss outttttttttttttttt.

Miracle.

Do u believe in miracles?

Do u think it would ever happen?

wait...WHAT THE HECK IS A MIRACLE?


I really wish I could experience some sort of thing that never ever happen to me before and of course it must be a gd thing and I would really wish I will treasure it like a lil girl with a small lil smelly pillow.

oh wells.


Life....


God gimme something to hope in.

kthxbai

Greetings?

HELLOHA, my blog's been empty for awhile...
I'm here to update briefly.

Nothing much been up.
Slack, drink, eat, slp.

Been on stickam most of my time, but i guess now i wont because i realise too many things abt it.

I miss old times with my dear buanana.
LOL
FRNDDDD, when r we gonna hang out?

:)

Sch's gonna start soon. REJOICE!.

lol.

:/

ok to end things off...some pics and some reflections.


------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember that everyone you meet
is afraid of something, loves something,
and has lost something


Tell me this look too sexy. LOL

There's a difference in what we long for, what we settle for, and & what we're meant for
I love you, what r u gonna do about it?:)

ok anyways sending some love to ppl who had make my life happier and filled with laughter.
Joanna aka Buanana, u will always be my best buddy for life!
Prabhu aka Dududu, remember what we always believe in and nvr give up bro!
Abby and Mya my UH OH HOTDOG buddies.
Mike, remember I will always be there for u if I could.I heart u.

Stickam's
Ashreen, its been long eh? :)
Fazzy, u're really nice and sweet. Hope to hang out more:)
Kyle, U crazy lil ass. Ur jokes are classics.KAMEHAMEHAAAAA!!! :)
ME LUB U GUYS LONG TIME!
hehe.


Jess signing off.