With every ache & pain I hide
The endless nightmare will not subside
I treasure nothing but the blade
Hoping one day the tears will fade
It takes so much just to smile
When thinking of carving all the while
The hallway down the path of life
Causes nothing but madness & misery
Because everyday just get longer
As i get weaker instead of stronger
I'm sick of pretending, the laughter is fake
But how many risks am i willing to take?
I don't feel satisfied with cuts anymore
Inside i am empty, i just want more
I always seem to feel the need
To cut myself a thousand times over and over
This is my story, now you know
My life feels like hell, should i just let go?
Sometimes i seriously do wonder
if i should just let go.
I think if I'm going to have to live like this, with this depression, disordered cutting, sadness, fear, self hatred forever
then what's the point in life?
Am i really going to be able to get over this,
because i have been trying.
The emotional issues that won't go away
that never really got fixed are there and
they haunt me every single moment of every single day
Jess
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